The Rules Do Not Apply : A Memoir

A gorgeous, darkly humorous memoir for readers of Cheryl Strayed about a woman overcoming dramatic loss and finding reinvention When thirty-eight-year-old New Yorker writer Ariel Levy left for a reporting trip to Mongolia in 2012, she was pregnant, married, financially secure, and successful on her own terms. A month later, none of that was true. Levy picks you up and hurls you through the story of how she built an unconventional life and then watched it fall apart with astonishing speed. Like much of her generation, she was raised to resist conventional rules—about work, about love, and about womanhood. "I wanted what we all want: everything. We want a mate who feels like family and a lover who is exotic, surprising. We want to be youthful adventurers and middle-aged mothers. We want intimacy and autonomy, safety and stimulation, reassurance and novelty, coziness and thrills. But we can't have it all." In this profound and beautiful... NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLERA gorgeous memoir about a woman overcoming dramatic loss and finding reinvention"Cheryl Strayed meets a Nora Ephron movie. You'll laugh, ugly cry, and finish it before the weekend's over."--theSkimmNamed one of the best books of 2017 so far by Time and Entertainment WeeklyWhen Ariel Levy left for a reporting trip to Mongolia in 2012, she was pregnant, married, financially secure, and successful on her own terms. A month later, none of that was true. Levy picks you up and hurls you through the story of how she built an unconventional life and then watched it fall apart with astonishing speed. Like much of her generation, she was raised to resist traditional rules--about work, about love, and about womanhood. In this "deeply human and deeply moving" (The New York Times Book Review) memoir, Levy chronicles the adventure and heartbreak of being, in her own words, "a woman who is free to do whatever she chooses." Her story of resilience becomes an unforgettable portrait of the shifting forces in our culture, of what has changed--and of what is eternal. Praise for The Rules Do Not Apply"Levy has the rare gift of seeing herself with fierce, unforgiving clarity. And she deploys prose to match, raw and agile. She plumbs the commotion deep within and takes the measure of her have-it-all generation."--The Atlantic "[The Rules Do Not Apply] is a short, sharp American memoir in the Mary Karr tradition of life-chronicling. Which is to say that Levy, like Karr, is a natural writer who is also as unsparing and bleakly hilarious as it's possible to be about oneself. . . . I devoured her story in one sitting."--Financial Times "It's an act of courage to hunt for meaning within grief, particularly if the search upends your life and shakes out the contents for all the world to sift through. Ariel Levy embarks on the hunt beautifully in her new memoir."--Chicago Tribune"I read it in one big messy gulp, because it is beautiful and heartbreaking and unruly and real. You should preorder it immediately so you can fall into her complicated, funny, and finely wrought world as soon as humanly possible."--Lenny.com "A thoroughly modern memoir, the elements of The Rules Do Not Apply seem plucked not from the script of Girls, which has also been exploring reproductive issues of late, but Transparent--even Portlandia."--The New York Times "Frank and unflinchingly sincere . . . A gut-wrenching, emotionally charged work of soul-baring writing in the spirit of Joan Didion, Helen Macdonald, and Elizabeth Gilbert, The Rules Do Not Apply is a must-read for women."--Bustle"Unflinching and intimate, wrenching and revelatory, Ariel Levy's powerful memoir about love, loss, and finding one's way shimmers with truth and heart on every page."--Cheryl Strayed "Every deep feeling a human is capable of will be shaken loose by this profound book. Ariel Levy has taken grief and made art out of it."--David Sedaris "Ariel Levy is a writer of uncompromising honesty, remarkable clarity, and surprising humor gathered from the wreckage of tragedy. Her account of life doing its darnedest to topple her, and her refusal to be knocked down, will leave you shaken and inspired. I am the better for having read this book."--Lena Dunham A gorgeous memoir about a woman overcoming dramatic loss and finding reinvention—for readers of Cheryl Strayed and Joan Didion When thirty-eight-year-old New Yorker writer Ariel Levy left for a reporting trip to Mongolia in 2012, she was pregnant, married, financially secure, and successful on her own terms. A month later, none of that was true. Levy picks you up and hurls you through the story of how she built an unconventional life and then watched it fall apart with astonishing speed. Like much of her generation, she was raised to resist traditional rules—about work, about love, and about womanhood. "I wanted what we all want: everything. We want a mate who feels like family and a lover who is exotic, surprising. We want to be youthful adventurers and middle-aged mothers. We want intimacy and autonomy, safety and stimulation, reassurance and novelty, coziness and thrills. But we can't have it all." In this profound and beautiful memoir, Levy chronicles the adventure and heartbreak of being "a woman who is free to do whatever she chooses." Her own story of resilience becomes an unforgettable portrait of the shifting forces in our culture, of what has changed—and of what is eternal. Advance praise for The Rules Do Not Apply"I read The Rules Do Not Apply in one long, rapt sitting. Unflinching and intimate, wrenching and revelatory, Ariel Levy's powerful memoir about love, loss, and finding one's way shimmers with truth and heart on every page."—Cheryl Strayed "Every deep feeling a human is capable of will be shaken loose by this profound book. Ariel Levy has taken grief and made art out of it."—David Sedaris "Ariel Levy is a writer of uncompromising honesty, remarkable clarity, and surprising humor gathered from the wreckage of tragedy. Her account of life doing its darnedest to topple her, and her refusal to be knocked down, will leave you shaken and inspired. I am the better for having read this book."—Lena Dunham "A great memoir is not a trip through someone else's life but a series of long looks into your own. Ariel Levy's book—grieving, hopeful, painful, funny—is that."—Amy Bloom "It's become a truism that feminists are living out our mothers' unlived lives. But Ariel Levy seems to be living out the unlived lives of an entire generation of women, simultaneously. Free to do whatever she chooses, she chooses everything. While reinventing work, marriage, family, pregnancy, sex, and divorce for herself from the ground up, Levy experiences devastating loss. And she recounts it all here with searing intimacy and an unsentimental yet openhearted rigor."—Alison Bechdel "The Rules Do Not Apply is heartbreaking, brilliant, and disarming, the kind of book that may change you. Ariel Levy writes with a beauty that is ferociously honest and with the fervor of an explorer. No one else has written so insightfully about the current legacy of feminism's 'lavish gift' of freedom. Levy has a voice unlike any other. This is a devastating and inspired book."—René Steinke NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER • “This Year’s Must-Read Memoir” ( W magazine) about the choices a young woman makes in her search for adventure, meaning, and love NAMED ONE OF THE BEST BOOKS OF THE YEAR BY Vogue • Time • Esquire • Entertainment Weekly • The Guardian • Harper’s Bazaar • Library Journal • NPR All her life, Ariel Levy was told that she was too fervent, too forceful, too much. As a young woman, she decided that becoming a writer would perfectly channel her strength and desire. She would be a professional explorer—“the kind of woman who is free to do whatever she chooses.” Levy moved to Manhattan to pursue her dream, and spent years of adventure, traveling all over the world writing stories about unconventional heroines, following their fearless examples in her own life. But when she experiences unthinkable heartbreak, Levy is forced to surrender her illusion of control. In telling her story, Levy has captured a portrait of our time, of the shifting forces in American culture, of what has changed and what has remained. And of how to begin again. Praise for The Rules Do Not Apply “Unflinching and intimate, wrenching and revelatory, Ariel Levy’s powerful memoir about love, loss, and finding one’s way shimmers with truth and heart on every page.” —Cheryl Strayed “Every deep feeling a human is capable of will be shaken loose by this profound book. Ariel Levy has taken grief and made art out of it.” —David Sedaris “Beautifully crafted . . . This book is haunting; it is smart and engaging. It was so engrossing that I read it in a day.” — The New York Times Book Review “Levy’s wise and poignant memoir is the voice of a new generation of women, full of grit, pathos, truth, and inspiration. Being in her presence is energizing and ennobling. Reading her deep little book is inspiring.” — San Francisco Book Review “Levy has the rare gift of seeing herself with fierce, unforgiving clarity. And she deploys prose to match, raw and agile. She plumbs the commotion deep within and takes the measure of her have-it-all generation.” — The Atlantic “Cheryl Strayed meets a Nora Ephron movie. You’ll laugh, ugly cry, and finish it before the weekend’s over.” — theSkimm A Gorgeous, Darkly Humorous Memoir For Readers Of Cheryl Strayed About A Woman Overcoming Dramatic Loss And Finding Reinvention, As Well As A Portrait Of A Generation Used To Assuming They're Entitled To Everything--based On This Award-winning Writer's New Yorker Article 'thanksgiving In Mongolia'-- In 2012, At Age 38, When She Left On A Reporting Trip To Mongolia, Ariel Levy Thought She Had Figured It Out: She Was Married, Pregnant, Successful On Her Own Terms, Financially Secure. A Month Later, None Of That Was True. 'people Have Been Telling Me Since I Was A Little Girl That I Was Too Fervent, Too Forceful, Too Much. I Thought I Had Harnessed The Power Of My Own Strength And Greed And Love To A Life That Could Contain It. But It Has Exploded.' In Gorgeous, Moving, Humorous, Sharp, And Unforgettable Prose, With Pointillist Portraits Of A Girl And Then A Young Woman Coming Of Age, Levy Describes Her Own Ill-fated Assumptions: Thinking That Anything Is Possible, That The Old Rules Do Not Apply; That Marriage Doesn't Have To Mean Monogamy; That Gender And Sexuality Are Fluid; That Aging Doesn't Have To Mean Infertility. This Is A Searing Story, Written With Humor, Brilliance, And Insight, That Is At Once Personal And Universal--a Story About Realizing That Life Is So Often Beyond Our Control, And How We Forge Ahead Despite That. In Telling Her Own Story, Levy Has Captured A Portrait Of Our Time, Of The Shifting Forces In Values, Women And Gender In American Culture, Of What Has Changed And What Has Remained-- Ariel Levy. "In 2012, at age 38, when she left on a reporting trip to Mongolia, Ariel Levy thought she had figured it out: she was married, pregnant, successful on her own terms, financially secure. A month later, none of that was true. 'People have been telling me since I was a little girl that I was too fervent, too forceful, too much. I thought I had harnessed the power of my own strength and greed and love to a life that could contain it. But it has exploded.' In gorgeous, moving, humorous, sharp, and unforgettable prose, with pointillist portraits of a girl and then a young woman coming of age, Levy describes her own ill-fated assumptions: thinking that anything is possible, that the old rules do not apply; that marriage doesn't have to mean monogamy; that gender and sexuality are fluid; that aging doesn't have to mean infertility. This is a searing story, written with humor, brilliance, and insight, that is at once personal and universal--a story about realizing that life is so often beyond our control, and how we forge ahead despite that. In telling her own story, Levy has captured a portrait of our time, of the shifting forces in values, women and gender in American culture, of what has changed and what has remained"-- Provided by publisher A gorgeous, darkly humorous memoir about a woman overcoming dramatic loss and finding reinventionfor readers of Cheryl Strayed and Joan Didion When thirty-eight-year-old New Yorker writer Ariel Levy left for a reporting trip to Mongolia in 2012, she was pregnant, married, financially secure, and successful on her own terms. A month later, none of that was true. Levy picks you up and hurls you through the story of how she built an unconventional life and then watched it fall apart with astonishing speed. Like much of her generation, she was raised to resist traditional rulesabout work, about love, and about womanhood. I wanted what we all want: everything. We want a mate who feels like family and a lover who is exotic, surprising. We want to be youthful adventurers and middle-aged mothers. We want intimacy and autonomy, safety and stimulation, reassurance and novelty, coziness and thrills. But we cant have it all. In this profound and beautiful memoir, Levy chronicles the adventure and heartbreak of being a woman who is free to do whatever she chooses. Her own story of resilience becomes an unforgettable portrait of the shifting forces in our culture, of what has changedand of what is eternal.